In July, I went on a thirty-day retreat to take the spiritual exercises developed by Ignatius of Loyola in the 16th Century. It was one of those life-changing experiences I wish I could capture into words, but the precise words elude me. I told one of the first people I talked to after the retreat, “It’s true Jesus really loves you.” She smiled at me, understanding I had experienced God’s love anew. 

But how do I tell you Jesus loves you in a way that doesn’t prompt a children’s song to play in your head? There are not words magnificent enough to do so. Imagine swimming in a lovely lagoon, only to be transported to a crystal blue sea filled with treasures beyond comprehension. And still loves reach is even grander than this. My perception of God’s love changed because of 30 days of intimate encounters with his presence. Each day I would walk with the Risen Lord through the gospels, I would listen to the wisdom of my Jesuit Director, and I basked in the love of the Trinity. It was intense and life-changing. 

One thing I want to share with you is that I feel certain God wants to encounter all of us with his love. All the time! I don’t think this has to happen in a 30-day retreat. In fact, I think we can invite these encounters into our everyday lives. Think about a young child and the way they move about the world in a state of wonder. Every butterfly, flower, rock, and cloud are a treasure. Could it be that God speaks his presence to us through the natural world around us? Through each other? Perhaps it is unorthodox to say so, but I believe he does. The one who created all things is lovingly present in all things. 

Now in saying that I do not believe that God causes evil. After working with trauma survivors for almost twenty years, I cannot believe that God causes the atrocities I have borne witness to. What I see repeatedly is God’s love and compassion for every person I encounter. I see unimaginable strength and courage that allows people to keep living. I live in wonder at the resilience of humanity in the face of wickedness. Hundreds of brave and beloved faces enter my mind to remind me evil does not have the last word. 
Receiving love and beginning to see one’s value are a catalyst for healing. People rarely heal in isolation. Sometimes God’s love is too hard to receive from the church or the Bible, because of harm and abuse experienced from misuse of those sources. Sometimes love comes from another human that really sees the person in front of them. Love listens well and is always waiting to be received. Love does not condemn, it offers hospitality and hope. I experience love in presence and through holy encounters. 

When I was on retreat, I spent the first few days sitting in God’s love. Since I am a visual person, I asked God for an image of his love. The image of a rushing waterfall poured over my head. I could feel the excitement of the pounding water and a giddy sense of being alive. The oxygen was cool, and it mingled with the sweet mist engulfing me. His love was everywhere. Now when I imagine a waterfall, I readily enter a fragrant encounter with God’s affection for me.

Throughout my retreat, I experienced God’s love in many forms. I saw him in rainbows, deer, and flowers, mountains, deserts, and trees. Each of the four elements beckoned me to the mystery of his presence among us. These images and memories have become anchors. When I am feeling low or anxious, I can go to one of my love anchors, and encounter the loving God that always delights to be with me. Just as the Holy One delights to be with you! How do you encounter love? 

*Check out our latest meditation vlog that will invite you to an encounter with God’s love through imagery in the 4 elements https://tracybusse.net/meditation-and-contemplation/