Written by Tracy Busse

The past few months have been a flurry of travel, visiting family, friends, and beautiful places. Each trip has held many treasures with people I love, but held within each trip was a strand of loneliness. How could one feel lonely when surrounded by so many people I love?

Somewhere in the midst of this, my spiritual director helped me identify a need for stillness. Verses like “Be still and know that I am God,” and “God leads me beside still waters,” meandered through my head. What was God saying? Frustration filled me because I had been so faithful to a variety of spiritual practices. In fact, I could rattle a whole list off to one of my spiritual mentors, who gently encouraged me to explore the possibility my old rhythms were not serving me anymore.

So, I stilled my body and invited my God to be near. Warmth spread through my body and an image of being held by a mothering God filled my head.  Peace took the place of anxious hurry. Ever curious, I wanted to know what was happening with my nervous system, so I turned to Polyvagal Theory and explored how they identified stillness. Essentially, it is defined as shutting down, while keeping the social engagement system engaged. The social engagement system is just what it sounds like. It engages with God, self, and others from a place of safety and connection.

Think about that friend, partner, or even a pet that you can sit in total silence with and never say a word but feel completely connected to. When we do this, we show our body how to stay connected without having to be active. This regulates us towards safety and connection. Ignatius of Loyola invites us to begin every prayer session with a moment of silence. In this time of quiet, we are to notice how God looks at us. But this practice is not only about how God looks at us, it can engage any of our other senses. For me, it was how God held me. I have known others to imagine God singing over them, dancing with them, or just resting next to them. The question to ask yourself before each prayer session is, how is God with me now?

One thing I love about this Ignatian practice is its brevity. Ignatius says, “I still myself for the length of an ‘Our Father,’ and notice how my creator looks at me.” And the language of Polyvagal Theory tells us to shut down for a moment while we allow ourselves to engage another in the stillness. God is the other being we point to in this practice.

Because school always started in August for me, this month has felt like the month of fresh starts. Ironically, I have more time alone this month than I have had in six months, but the loneliness has abated as I lean into a simplified practice of stillness. Spirituality is not about a list of to do’s to maintain our spiritual health, but it is about our relationship with God who desires to be with us, and who want to intimately accompany us every day of our life.

Practice: Find a safe place where you can be still without interruption. Gently place the worries or to-do’s of the day aside and invite God to be with you in the stillness. Notice how God is with you (How God looks at you, touches you, speaks to you etc.). It might be helpful to find a safe and loving image of God that resonates with you before entering the practice. If images of God do not feel safe, try this practice using the image of a loved one who feels safe to be with in the stillness. This practice is meant to be brief (one minute is plenty of time to connect with God and to regulate the nervous system). Enjoy and let me know how it goes.